What Would Happen If…? The One Question That Reveals a School’s Culture
- Joe Pardoe
- Jul 10
- 2 min read
You’ve been shown the lovely displays. You’ve seen a calm classroom. You’ve heard the headteacher talk about kindness and high expectations.
But what would actually happen if your child… talked during 'silent time'? Or couldn’t sit still? Or refused to come into class? Or, what would happen if someone snatched equipment from your child?
These are not a rude questions - they are revealing ones.
Because behaviour isn’t about posters or points systems. It’s about how adults respond in the moment, and what that teaches children about themselves, their boundaries and their safety.
Why this matters
Every school wants good behaviour. But how they achieve it varies dramatically. Some rely on strict routines. Others focus on restorative conversations. Most try a mix. But your child’s experience will depend on how that approach is applied - and whether it aligns with what you value.
What to ask
“What does break and lunchtime usually look like?” This tells you whether the school is confident about unstructured time - and what kinds of systems are in place.
“How do you help children who find it hard to sit still or follow rules?” Listen for empathy, not just sanctions.
“What would happen if… [insert scenario]?” Try using a real example that’s relevant to your child. “What would happen if a child hit someone?” “What would happen if a child kept running off?”
This cuts through the rehearsed lines. You’ll get a much clearer sense of how calmly and consistently staff respond - and how children are helped to learn and grow from mistakes.
What to look for
Is the school warm and structured?
Do children seem happy and purposeful - or anxious and compliant?
Is behaviour about control - or connection?
Want help clarifying your values?
We all want our children to be safe, kind, and well-supported - but how that’s achieved matters. If you’re unsure what type of approach would suit your child best, the full course takes you through different philosophies and helps you reflect on what matters most to you.
Ready to feel confident?
Choosing a school is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make as a parent. Don’t leave it to gut instinct alone. Use your visits to uncover the real values of each school—and make a choice that reflects what you truly want for your child.
I’ve turned these questions into a free video Masterclass session with key questions and prompts you can take with you on your school visits.
And if you want to go deeper, our full recorded course gives you insider knowledge from a former teacher and curriculum leader (me!)—plus an option to book a 1:1 chat to talk through your own shortlist.
🎥 Feel in confident and in control of primary school applications in just three hours with my online course designed specifically for busy parents who care about their child's education.
Enrol in the online course here.
Or, if you want a more in-depth experience, you can get the course with a 1:1 phone/video call with me - I only release 100 spaces per year, so hurry before they all get booked.
Comments