Five Discussion Points to Help You Explore Your Values Before the Primary School Application Window Opens

If you are applying for a primary school next year (click here to read more about when you need to apply), you might be gearing up to visit local primaries, read Ofsted reports and ask friends for recommendations. But before you dive into research mode, it’s worth pressing pause.

This is a great moment to explore your own values - because every school is different and knowing what matters most to you can help make the process less overwhelming and more purposeful.

Here are five discussion points to help you reflect. You don’t need to have ‘right answers’ - these are prompts for curiosity, not a checklist. Talk them through with your partner, a friend, or jot some notes for yourself. They’ll help you make sense of what you see on school visits and beyond.

1. Behaviour: What kind of environment will help your child thrive?

Some schools take a very clear and consistent approach to behaviour, with rules that apply to all pupils at all times. Others take a more contextual approach, adapting to individual circumstances and placing greater emphasis on relationships and restorative practices.

• Do you value certainty and structure, or flexibility and personalisation?

• Do you want a school which has a similar view of rewards/punishments to you, or one which gives a contrasting experience?

• What do you consider to be the pros and cons of a ‘strict’ school?

• What do you consider to be the pros and cons of ‘reward systems’?

• What do you want to happen if…? [Insert your own! Eg. your child shouts over a teacher. Another child says something mean to your child. Your child can’t sit still during reading time.]

2. Teaching Style: What kind of learning experience do you want for your child?

In Reception, all schools will follow a more ‘play-based’ curriculum based around the Early Years Foundation Stage Curriculum. This will largely look and feel like a nursery or preschool.

However, it is worth thinking ahead about how the learning environment will change in Year One and beyond as the National Curriculum begins.

Schools and classrooms can vary hugely. In some, learning is more teacher-led with a clear focus on direct instruction and routines. In others, children are encouraged to explore more independently, with open-ended activities and child-led investigations.

• What kind of learning suits your child’s personality?

• Do you lean more towards academic focus, creative exploration - or a mix of both?

• What are the pros and cons of different approaches?

• Do you want the school to compliment or contrast with the environment you have created at home?

3. Outlook: What sort of world do you want your child prepared for?

Some schools hold onto more traditional values - like uniforms, handwriting, and knowledge-rich curricula - while others adopt modern approaches that focus on emotional development, inclusion and global citizenship.

• How important is tradition and formality to you?

• Are you looking for a school that reflects the changing world around us?

• Is the best way to prepare children for the future to focus on the traditional things which have ‘worked’ for the last 2500 years? Or should we be adapting the system based on the rapid changes we now live through?

4. Curriculum: Do you value breadth or depth?

All schools have a major limitation. Time. There is only so much a school can cover with the time they have with the children. How do you think they should use this time?

Some schools pride themselves on a broad curriculum - exposing children to a wide range of subjects, enrichment opportunities, and experiences. Others may focus more deeply on core academic progress, particularly in English and Maths.

• What balance do you want between academic achievement and a rich, varied school life?

• What do you want the school to cover which you don’t think about at home?

• Do you want the school to compliment or contrast with your home environment?

• What are the pros and cons of depth vs breadth?

5. Access & Inclusion: What kind of community do you want your child to be part of?

Some schools are intentionally inclusive, working hard to meet a wide range of needs and reflect the diversity of the local area. Others may have more selective admissions, or cater to particular demographics.

• How important is diversity and inclusion in your decision-making?

• Are you looking for a school where your child ‘fits in’ or one that helps them learn to live alongside others?

• To what extent do you agree that children should be educated alongside side others of similar ‘abilities’?

• What are the pros and cons of different approaches.

Final Thoughts

There’s no single ‘best’ school or ‘best education’ - only the one that feels like the best fit for your child and family. These discussion points aren’t about labelling schools as good or bad, but helping you notice the trade-offs, values and priorities that will guide your thinking.

If you're visiting schools over the next few months take time to explore these questions in advance.

I have designed a FREE Masterclass session specifically to give parents like you lots of questions to ask to make the most of school visits. You can watch it here.